Being considered a manipulator is not something to brag about. The very word comes with its own set of ideas and feelings. Some people seem to be born with a natural talent for getting their way and making things appear as they want them to. The challenge can come when it's time to show them for who they truly are.
Finding yourself in a knock down drag out fight with the mother of your children is probably not what you consider a good time. If this person also happens to be a manipulator you may have your work cut out for you. On the flip side, she can provide you with some ammunition.
Women can excel at making themselves look good. The eternal victim, the angel who does no wrong, or the mother who wants the best for her children can all be your foe. In our culture men are generally still raised to treat a woman like a lady. Of course, this means that many of the people you will be dealing with, like attorneys and judges, can get suckered by a woman. Even the old standby of waterworks can make a woman appear vulnerable and in need of help. When a mother is fighting for her children she may find that she will do whatever it takes to get her way.
History can be your friend if you are dealing with a manipulative woman. Chances are that you have known each other for a decent period of time. Over the period of your life that you have been involved with this person you should have had a chance to see her in action. Throughout your relationship she has probably learned how to push your buttons just as much as you have learned to push hers. This intimate knowledge can be turned into strength for you.
Number one, don't fall for it. Be conscience of her actions. Realize what she is trying to do when she behaves badly or appears to be pushing you for a bad reaction. She may be doing her best to make you look bad while keeping track of every miss step you make. Each and every incident could come back to haunt you during the custody proceedings.
Number two, turn the tables. Be very diligent about keeping a journal or some sort of record concerning her baiting behavior. The turnabout comes when you use her own attempts at manipulation to make her look bad. Let those moments come back to haunt her!
Women have the advantage in a custody fight. Even a woman who is not naturally manipulative has an advantage. If you truly feel that it is in the best interest of your children to be under your care, you are going to have to be realistic and know that the battle might get messy. You may see her do things that you never thought she could be capable of. You will have to learn to be proficient at your own kind of manipulation. A father has to do work very hard to come out of a custody battle with a less than cooperative woman and have custody of his children.
If child custody for fathers is your goal, then Custody Warriors is for you. We are a members only site for fathers that want to fight and win equal rights to raise their children. http://www.custodywarriors.com
Learn child custody laws, share your child custody experiences with other fathers across the United States & around the World and prepare for the child custody battle ahead. Receive feedback from dads who have shared your experiences.
Michael Waddington is the founder of CustodyWarriors. He is an expert trial lawyer that fights cases worldwide. He has successfully defended numerous high profile criminal cases arising from the War on Terror and has been reported on and quoted by hundreds of major media sources worldwide. Mr. Waddington has provided consultation services to 60 Minutes, ABC Nightline, the BBC, German Public Television and other major news outlets. He has successfully fought cases in the USA, Europe, the Middle East (Iraq, Kuwait), Central Asia (Afghanistan), and the Pacific (Korea, Japan).
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1 comments:
"Number two, turn the tables. Be very diligent about keeping a journal or some sort of record concerning her baiting behavior. The turnabout comes when you use her own attempts at manipulation to make her look bad. Let those moments come back to haunt her!"
A man can't do enough of this. There is a flip-side piece of advice, too. NEVER put anything in writing... not handwritten, not email, nothing... that can ever be used against you.
Both efforts take a great deal of discipline.
Don't let your buttons be pushed.
It still took a long time and considerable expense... and even though a lot of my massive amount of documentation saving (done over the course of many years) wasn't presented/reviewed in court or by evaluators... that which was would subsequently be supported by her antics and actions in and out of court during the last 4-years' worth of proceedings.
It helped immensely.
As sick and twisted as it sounds... even if you don't think you're on the precipice of divorce... saving things over the course of time could be what helps you maximize custody over time if and when that day comes.
Readers - please don't ignore this advice. Please.
~Mister-M
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