Judge who handed me a protection order....... Guessing this is why she hands them out like candy to any father in her court room!

http://www.endabuse.org/programs/display.php3?DocID=100107

Remarks by Gayle Nicolson

From Alameda, California: I feel that it is a tribute to my daughter and grandson to be here today to tell their story because this past Sunday, May 21, marked the third anniversary of their death. My daughter Nicole and three-year-old grandson Warren were stabbed to death in their own home. The murderer was not a stranger , but John Hoffman, my grandson's father. The effect this act of violence has had on our family can not be put into words, and the wounds we have been left with can not be seen, but they are there, and they will never go away.
Our grief is made even worse because of the guilt. The reason for the guilt is that we were with Nicole and Warren almost every day, but did not know of the violence that they were suffering at the hands of John. But there was one person who did know, and that person was Dawn Girard, a family law judge.
We knew that she did not want a relationship with John and that she had been trying to move on with her life without him, but it was particularly hard for her because she wanted her son to have his father in his life. This wasn't good enough for John, he wanted her and his son. He was constantly harassing her and generally intruding on her life. We suggested that she get a restraining order and set up a place where John could have supervised visits with Warren without involving her. She agreed that this was the best course of action. She sat in my house and very carefully wrote a request for a restraining order. She asked me not to read what she had written. She said it was very hard for her to write but she knew it was time to take some action. She wanted to handle it through the legal system on her own.
I truly believe that if the court had been more sensitive to her request for help, I would not be standing here telling their story today.
We found out the details of what had been happening to her by reading her request for a restraining order on the front page of a local newspaper the day after the murders. At first, we considered the news article to be a thoughtless invasion of our family's privacy, but it has turned out to be an awakening and has given me a purpose and a reason to go on. That purpose is to see that all judges that preside in family courts are trained to recognize the signs of battered women, and be sensitive to their needs.
On May 1, 1992 Nicole stood in front of Judge Dawn Girard with a restraining order request that told of rape, beatings, child abuse, and numerous threats of death to her, her child, and her family. The following are a few direct quotes from that document.
"Starting over 4 years ago John Hoffman has been acting out sexual and physical abuse. He has regularly beaten me and has made several threats to kill me. He has forced me to perform sexual acts despite desperate pleas to leave me alone. He also has made threats to harm my family and destroy their property if I leave him or call the police." "He has injured Warren by slapping him, causing a blackened eye and welts on his face and head." "I was severely beaten, almost strangled, and left with black eyes and bruises all over my body." "These are not necessarily the worst things that John Hoffman has done to us, just examples of his capability of injuring me and my son." "The fear my son and I have lived in has been horrible. I am terribly afraid of him and I need protection." However, she left that courtroom without a signed order.
The newspaper headline read that Nicole had dropped the restraining order. I could not understand why she would have dropped the order when there was no other reason for her to go to court that morning. After obtaining and reading the transcript, I became aware that the sense of resolve and confidence that Nicole had that morning was stripped away after having to stand beside a man she feared and testify to a Judge that had neither the sensitivity nor the interest to concern herself with the seriousness of the situation. The very first thing the Judge said was "Is everything you wrote in your application true and correct to the best of your knowledge and belief? Or do you want to drop this today?" Those words, "Or do you want to drop this today?" haunt me. I am at a loss to understand how one in a judge's position could not see the obvious fact that Nicole and Warren were in mortal danger from this man. It is clear from reading the transcript that it was not Nicole who made the decision to drop the restraining order, but the influence of the judge's authority.
It is the duty of family court judges to act in the best interest of those who come before them seeking help. If Nicole had been listened to and taken seriously and able to plead her case in a more sympathetic and understanding environment, perhaps she would have felt more empowered, knowing that she could make a difference in protecting herself and her child through the court system, which is the only legal means that exists to protect victims like Nicole and Warren.
The manner in which the civil courts deal with domestic violence is in serious need of reassessment. We need mandatory intensive training and new policies for all levels of personnel who deal with families in crisis. Battered women have to be recognized and handled properly in the courts. Their cries for help must be taken seriously and the batterers must not be let off lightly.
There is nothing more that can be done for Nicole and Warren, but it is my deepest wish that by telling their story I may, in some small way, help change our legal system so that tragedies such as mine are averted in the future.
(As told at a Family Violence Prevention Fund Press Conference, San Francisco, CA, May 25, 1995)